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Use This Tactic To Become A More Effective Conflict Resolver

Articles

Daniel LeMoine is a social entrepreneur, change-maker, and writer. Here he writes at the intersection of faith, work, & building a matterful career.

Use This Tactic To Become A More Effective Conflict Resolver

Dan LeMoine

If you’re in any form of leadership (or have any human interaction in your work or personal lives really) you’ve no doubt had to have crucial conversations or been put in situations where you’ve had to lead through icky stuff. There’s no way around it. As your organization or your team grows, and you collectively seek to solve meaningful problems you will run into times where you need to resolve and work through conflict.

On the far side of conflict can be intimacy and continuity. Conversely, there can also be destruction and disunity. A big factor in where you end up as you work through conflict and seek to resolve issues depends on your approach.

We must approach situations — whether it’s an office gossip, questionable or destructive behavior, lack of representing our brand well, irresponsibility, slipping performance, whatever it may be — with the focus on seeking the highest good for those involved.

Confront what you know, question what you suspect.

One tactic which I’ve found extremely helpful in clarifying and getting to underlying issues is: Confront what you know, question what you suspect.[1]

This approach is extremely powerful in slowing us down and to avoid jumping to conclusions, make hasty assumptions, presume that others have horrible or negative intentions, and allowing my mindset to be put into a reactive or defensive state.

By confronting what we already know, and questioning with gentleness and loose assumptions what we may suspect, we are able to navigate situations with a fresher level of empathy, compassion, pity, and mercy than if we simply assume the worst and default into ‘fight or flight’ mode in our conflict resolution.

What tactics have you used in confronting other in awkward or hard situations which you’ve found effective?


[1] Hat tip to my buddy Curtis Powell for teaching and showing me this framework.

ARTICLE NO. 75/100 OF #THE100DAYPROJECT AND 100 DAYS OF WRITING.

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